The idea of wanting your kids to misbehave during a family photo session may sound completely outrageous at first. It’s the opposite of what most parents expect when they think of a photo shoot, especially one they’ve probably spent time and money preparing for. But here’s the truth: the most meaningful, authentic photos come from moments that are unscripted and emotionally honest. That’s why, as a photographer who works with families in Portland, I want your kids to misbehave just a little bit. Not because chaos is fun for me (though, honestly, it kind of is), but because that’s where the real beauty lives—in the freedom, the laughter, the mischief, and the unpredictable charm of childhood.
Let’s start with a little story to help illustrate this. Once, I was contacted by an 11-year-old girl who wanted to book a family photo session. She had her parents’ permission, of course, but she did all the research herself. She scrolled through photography portfolios, read descriptions, looked at galleries, and eventually messaged me on Facebook. When I asked her why she chose me, her answer was simple: "You seem fun." That answer has stayed with me because it perfectly captures what I try to bring to every session. I want kids to feel comfortable, safe, and seen for exactly who they are, not who they’re told to be for the camera.
Kids are unpredictable, spontaneous, and often hilarious. They live in the moment, and that’s what makes photographing them so special. When we let go of the pressure to make every image Pinterest-perfect, we open the door to memories that will be cherished for generations. Not just stiff, posed portraits, but vibrant images full of real emotion, movement, and joy. When your child makes a silly face, runs away mid-frame, or decides to bring up fart jokes while I’m clicking the shutter, I don’t see misbehavior—I see personality. I see spirit. I see the essence of your child being captured exactly as they are.
As a photographer, I know the value of letting children lead. So instead of worrying about whether your child is “behaving,” think about whether they’re happy, engaged, and being themselves. Because that’s when we get the magic. That’s when the real smiles come out. Those twinkling eyes, crooked grins, and unfiltered giggles tell a far richer story than a perfect pose ever could.
Freedom Helps Personalities Shine
Every parent wants beautiful photos of their family, especially of their children. But the word “beautiful” often gets tangled up with the idea of “perfect.” In traditional portrait photography, kids are expected to sit still, smile on command, and behave like tiny adults for the duration of the session. But the result of that kind of direction often leads to stiff bodies, frozen smiles, and a total lack of expression in their eyes.
Let me tell you what I see when I look at two photos side by side. In the first photo, a mother and daughter are posed just right. Their clothes are perfectly coordinated. They’re looking at the camera and smiling—but something’s missing. There’s no spark. No connection. No sense of who they are when no one’s looking.
Now, in the second photo, that same mother and daughter are in the middle of a game. The daughter is laughing so hard she can’t keep still. The mom is smiling down at her, reaching to tickle her ribs. Their eyes are locked, their bodies are relaxed, and the moment is alive. That’s the photo I want to take. That’s the image I want to give to you—the one that makes your heart skip a beat because it feels real.
It’s hard to connect to an image when the people in it don’t seem connected. But when children have the freedom to move, speak, and explore during a session, they become more open to genuine emotion. They stop performing. They start playing. And when they play, they reveal who they truly are. That’s when their personalities come alive on camera.
One of my favorite moments from a session involved a little girl who couldn’t stop talking about poop and farts. Her mom kept apologizing, clearly worried that it was inappropriate or disrespectful. But I leaned in. I laughed with her. We talked about the grossest things imaginable (in her opinion), and guess what happened? She lit up. Her eyes sparkled. Her giggles were unstoppable. And the images we captured from that moment were unforgettable.
So yes, if your child wants to talk about bodily functions or run in circles or pull faces at the camera, I’m all for it. Because that means they’re comfortable. It means they trust me. And when they trust me, we get images that reflect their true essence.
The Beauty of Letting Them Lead
A successful photo session doesn’t look like a scene from a magazine. It looks like life. It’s messy, silly, unpredictable, and filled with little moments of connection that unfold when no one is trying too hard. As a photographer, my job isn’t to control your children—it’s to create a space where they feel safe enough to be themselves.
Take, for example, the little boy who kept running away from his mom and my camera. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Rather than constantly chasing him down and begging him to stand still, we made it a game. His mom joined in, pretending to sneak up on him and catch him mid-run. And when she finally did catch him, he threw his arms around her, laughing uncontrollably. That’s when I clicked the shutter.
Now, imagine if we had tried to stop him from running. If we’d taken away the fun and insisted he pose like a statue. That moment of connection—his laughter, her embrace—never would have happened. And the photo that came from it? One of the best from the entire session.
Another memorable session ended with a bubble wand. The same little boy decided it was time to splash his mom and me with bubbles. He whipped the wand around like a sword, aiming at everything in sight. Instead of stopping him, we let it play out. I kept my camera at a safe distance, capturing his delight. His mom didn’t mind the bubble juice—it was the end of the session, after all. What mattered more was how happy he looked.
The result? A collection of images filled with energy and humor. He was laughing so hard he could barely stand still, and every photo radiated his personality. If we’d taken the wand away or scolded him, all that joy would have disappeared. Instead, we captured it.
That’s the power of letting them lead. When you let kids take the reins, even just for an hour, they surprise you. They show you who they are. And in doing so, they give you memories you’ll never want to forget.
The Power of Embracing the Chaos
Parents often arrive at sessions hoping for calm, controlled behavior from their kids. They’ve spent time choosing outfits, getting everyone ready, and arriving on time. The last thing they want is for one of their children to start acting out. But here’s what I tell every family: don’t worry about the chaos. Embrace it.
Because chaos isn’t the enemy of great photos—it’s often the secret ingredient. When kids are allowed to be noisy, wild, or goofy, they drop their defenses. They stop thinking about how they’re supposed to act and just be. That’s when I can do my job.
Think about it like this: you’re not just capturing what your family looks like—you’re capturing what your family feels like. You’re telling a story that will be read for years to come. And the best stories are the ones filled with character, humor, and a little bit of mischief.
So when your child starts making funny faces at the camera, let them. When they say something silly or run in circles or fall laughing at their jokes, join them. These are the moments that matter. Not the ones where everyone is lined up perfectly, but the ones where everyone is together—connected, present, and real.
One session ended with a little girl making the most ridiculous faces at the lens. Her mom kept trying to get her to stop, but I told her not to worry. We rolled with it. And in the final gallery, those photos of her pulling faces were some of the family’s favorites. They showed who she was in that moment—bold, playful, and full of personality.
And that’s the point of it all. Photography, at its best, isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection. It’s about freezing those fleeting moments of joy and chaos that make up our lives. So yes, I want your kids to misbehave. I want them to get a little wild. Because in doing so, they give us something far more valuable than a perfect picture—they give us truth.
Redefining What a “Perfect Photo” Means
For decades, family photography has been rooted in tradition. Families stood in a row. Everyone smiled. Shoulders straight, chins up, hands clasped or resting just so. These portraits became standards of family history—neat, tidy moments that aimed to present the very best version of family life. But here’s the problem: those photos, while technically correct, don’t always feel personal. They don’t always spark emotion. They don’t always look like you.
What if we redefined what “perfect” means? What if the best photo isn’t the one where everyone is looking at the camera, but the one where your child is belly-laughing, or you and your partner are exchanging a glance full of love and amusement as your toddler runs circles around you?
Perfection in photography shouldn’t be about precision. It should be about presence. It’s about showing the truth of who you are as a family, not who you think you should be for the camera. That truth includes the chaos, the interruptions, the giggles, and even the occasional meltdown. Because these moments are real. They’re honest. They reflect the life you’re living.
When I look through my camera lens and see your child twirling their hair, jumping into a mud puddle, or refusing to wear shoes, I see beauty. Not polished, magazine-cover beauty, but the kind that endures. The kind that fills albums and hearts and stories for years to come.
So yes, let’s toss out the checklist of what a photo session is supposed to look like. Let’s make room for what it can look like. Let’s prioritize emotion over perfection, movement over stiffness, laughter over silence. Because when we do that, we create something truly unforgettable.
Creating a Safe Space for Kids to Be Themselves
One of the most important parts of working with children is creating an environment where they feel emotionally safe. That means not just being friendly or patient, but being someone they can trust. Someone who doesn’t make them feel wrong for being silly, loud, quiet, shy, or energetic.
From the moment a family arrives at a session, I’m tuned into how the kids are feeling. Are they anxious? Are they excited? Are they holding back because they’re not sure what’s expected of them? I never start with instructions like “stand here” or “smile at the camera.” Instead, I observe. I talk to them. I get on their level—literally. I sit down on the ground. I ask questions about their favorite shows or pets. I play games that allow me to take the lead.
Those first five to ten minutes are crucial. It sets the tone. If a child feels like they’re entering into a performance, they’ll often shut down. But if they sense that this is a space where they can be silly or expressive or even a little rebellious, they’ll relax. And when they relax, the camera becomes invisible. It’s no longer something pointed at them—it’s just part of the fun.
I remember a session with a little boy who didn’t want to take photos at all. He crossed his arms and pouted. His parents were visibly stressed, apologizing and trying to coax him into participating. I asked everyone to pause. I walked over to the boy, crouched down, and asked him if he wanted to help me take photos instead. His eyes lit up. For a few minutes, I let him hold the camera, click the shutter, and even direct where his parents should stand. Then I asked if he wanted to be in one photo, and he agreed. That photo ended up being one of the family’s favorites.
It’s moments like that that remind me why building trust is more important than following a strict shot list. When kids feel like they’re in control, like their feelings are being honored, they open up. And that’s when the magic begins.
The Importance of Flexibility and Patience
Family photography sessions are not predictable events. Despite any amount of planning, something unexpected will always happen—and that’s not a flaw. It’s a gift. Flexibility and patience aren’t just nice to have as a photographer; they’re essential.
Some kids will be shy and need time to warm up. Others will run wild from the moment they step out of the car. Some will refuse to wear the outfit their parents chose, or will want to bring a toy into every photo. And that’s okay. Every one of those situations presents an opportunity, not a problem.
The goal isn’t to make kids conform to a rigid idea of how they should behave. The goal is to adjust the session to suit them. If a child needs space, we give them space. If they need a snack break, we pause. If they’re bursting with energy, we turn the session into a game.
There was a session where the youngest child was having a full-blown meltdown halfway through. Tears, stomping, the works. I could see the panic setting in for the parents. I calmly asked if we could take a break and just walk together. No camera. No photos. Just a walk. We talked about dinosaurs. We looked at leaves. After ten minutes, that child was calm and smiling, ready to be in photos again—and we captured some of the most beautiful moments from that session during the second half.
Patience means trusting the process. It means understanding that kids are kids. They’re unpredictable. They’re emotional. They’re learning how to regulate themselves in a world that doesn’t always make sense. Giving them the time and space to move through those feelings results in more genuine, emotionally rich photographs.
Being flexible also means adapting to each family’s unique energy. Some families are naturally quiet and tender. Others are loud and boisterous. I don’t come in with one fixed idea of how your session should unfold. I come in ready to meet you where you are, and to reflect the beauty of your family just as you are in this moment.
Letting Go of the “Highlight Reel” Mentality
In our social media-driven world, it’s easy to feel like family photos need to look like they belong in a perfectly curated feed. Matching outfits, flawless lighting, joyful smiles—all edited to perfection. But that’s not real life. And it doesn’t have to be your goal.
If we approach every photo session as a performance for an invisible audience, we miss the point entirely. These images aren’t for followers. They’re for you. They’re for your children, and for the future generations who will look back at them not to see how perfect you looked, but to remember how it felt to be loved by you.
Letting go of the highlight reel means letting go of pressure. You don’t have to fix every flyaway hair. Your kids don’t have to wear designer clothes. Your toddler doesn’t have to sit still. Your teen doesn’t have to smile on command. What matters is that you showed up together. What matters is that you created space for connection.
One of the most powerful sessions I’ve ever had was with a family going through a tough time. The parents were separating but wanted to document their time as a family in a way that felt honest and kind. The kids knew what was happening, and there was a mix of sadness and warmth in the air. Instead of forcing happy faces, we focused on moments of togetherness—holding hands, walking in silence, and spontaneous hugs. Those images weren’t loud or dramatic, but they were incredibly moving. They told the story of love, even in transition. Of a family honoring each other.
That’s the opposite of a highlight reel—and it’s exactly what photography should be. A reflection of your truth, not a performance for the camera.
When you let go of the idea that your session has to look a certain way, you permit yourself to experience it fully. You laugh more. You worry less. You tune in to your kids instead of micromanaging them. And in doing so, you make space for memories that are rich with authenticity.
Capturing Connection Over Perfection
When families think about scheduling a photo session, they often imagine a series of perfectly arranged images—everyone smiling, looking at the camera, framed in golden light. While those kinds of photos do have their place, the ones that stick with you emotionally, the ones you return to again and again, are the ones where connection comes through.
Connection can’t be posed. It happens in between the planned shots. In the in-between moments—the squeeze of a toddler’s hand, the spontaneous kiss on the forehead, the laughter when someone trips and everyone bursts out giggling. These are the photos that hold stories. And stories are what families want to preserve, whether they realize it yet or not.
There’s something inherently powerful about an image that captures how two people feel about each other. You see it in the way a child nestles into their parent’s shoulder, or how a big sibling wraps their arms protectively around a little one. You see it in stolen glances, subtle gestures, and unspoken joy. These are the things that are difficult to direct but emerge naturally when the environment feels safe and supportive.
I once photographed a dad who didn’t consider himself very expressive. He told me ahead of time that he’d likely just stand in the background and let the kids and mom take the lead. But during the session, his daughter ran up and wrapped herself around his legs, her face turned upward in pure adoration. His expression softened completely. He picked her up without thinking, spun her around, and she shrieked with delight. That moment—unexpected, unplanned—became the highlight of their entire gallery. It showed his love in a way words never could.
When families let go of trying to “look right” and instead focus on being with each other, everything changes. The stress melts away. The smiles become real. The energy becomes contagious. Children, especially, are deeply attuned to emotional cues. If they sense that their parents are tense or overly focused on behaving, they’ll mirror that energy. But if they see their parents laughing, moving freely, and enjoying the experience, they’ll relax into it too.
So instead of thinking of a photo session as a task, think of it as a time to connect. Hug your kids. Whisper jokes. Race across a field. Tickle them until they can’t breathe from laughing. That’s the version of your family that deserves to be remembered.
The Role of Humor and Play in Authentic Photography
Laughter is one of the greatest tools in a photographer’s kit—no lens, lighting, or editing can match the power of genuine joy. And when it comes to photographing children and families, humor and play aren’t just fun—they’re essential.
Children don’t respond well to long instructions, forced smiles, or formal posing. What they do respond to is silliness. If a photographer is willing to joke with them, run alongside them, make ridiculous faces, or even talk about gross stuff (like boogers or poop jokes), that child suddenly feels like they’re not being watched—they’re being included. They become co-creators of the session. That’s where the magic lives.
I remember a young boy named Asher who was full of energy and refused to sit still. He wanted nothing to do with photos. So instead of trying to get him to sit, I challenged him to a jumping contest. We jumped together until he was red-faced and breathless with laughter. Then, while he lay on the ground giggling, I started snapping photos. Those images—him smiling up at the clouds, kicking his legs, eyes wide and bright—were some of the most expressive portraits I’ve ever taken.
Play disarms tension. It reminds everyone that we’re not here to perform, we’re here to have fun. For parents, this can be transformative. Many arrive anxious, worried about getting the “perfect shot.” When they see their kids genuinely enjoying themselves, that anxiety often fades. They begin to join in the fun, letting their guard down, connecting more deeply with their children in the moment.
Humor also has a special power to bridge the age gap between adults and kids. A child who may have been shy or quiet at first will often open up completely once we find what makes them laugh. Whether it’s a funny sound, a silly dance, or just permitting them to say a “naughty” word once (like poop!), that laughter opens the door to real emotion. And real emotion is what photography is all about.
Sessions that include games—like freeze dance, tag, or whispering silly secrets—create an environment where joy becomes the default. And when joy is present, the photos take care of themselves.
Celebrating Individuality in Every Session
No two families are alike, and no two children are the same. One of the most rewarding parts of family photography is getting to witness the unique personalities that make up each family unit. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to mold kids into a standard session format, but doing so would erase what makes them special. Instead, I approach every session with curiosity: Who are these kids? What do they love? How do they move through the world?
Some children are exuberant and outgoing, others are more reserved. Some love to perform and make everyone laugh, while others are quiet observers who show affection in soft, subtle ways. The role of the photographer isn’t to make every child act the same—it’s to meet them where they are and build trust so that their individuality shines through naturally.
I once photographed twin girls who couldn’t have been more different. One was loud, bold, and loved posing dramatically. The other preferred to hold her stuffed bunny and stay close to her parents. Rather than try to make them behave the same, I embraced their differences. We let the bold one lead part of the session, encouraging her flair for drama. When it came time to photograph the quieter twin, I sat with her, let her show me her bunny, and talked softly until she felt comfortable. The result was a gallery that celebrated their unique personalities while capturing the deep bond between them.
Recognizing and celebrating these differences not only results in better photos, but it also builds confidence in kids. They see themselves reflected in the final images and feel proud of who they are. That’s a powerful thing.
It’s also meaningful for parents. They get to see their children not as they wish them to behave, but as they truly are—imperfect, beautiful, and uniquely themselves. It becomes a gift of perspective, especially in the busyness of parenting, when those small details can get lost in the day-to-day.
Photography becomes a form of storytelling, and each child brings their storyline. Whether it’s a phase they’re going through, a personality quirk, or a facial expression they’ve made since birth, those things matter. They make the photo gallery more than just pictures—they make it personal.
Shifting the Parent Mindset: From Managing to Experiencing
Perhaps the most important shift that can happen during a photo session is in the parents themselves. Many arrive in “management mode,” focused on keeping their kids under control, making sure no one gets dirty, and trying to remember all the Pinterest poses they’ve saved. But when parents are too focused on controlling the outcome, they miss out on the experience.
It’s completely understandable. Parents carry a huge emotional load. They want their investment to pay off. They want to walk away with frame-worthy images. But the irony is that the best way to get those images is to stop trying so hard to make them happen.
When parents relax, kids feel it. The entire tone of the session shifts. It’s no longer about forcing cooperation—it’s about creating connection. That’s when families start to experience the session instead of just participating in it.
Some of the most moving images I’ve ever taken are of parents fully engaged with their kids—hugging them tightly, chasing them playfully, whispering something funny in their ear. In those moments, the parents aren’t thinking about the camera. They’re thinking about their child. That authenticity comes through in every frame.
It can help to think of a photo session not as a performance, but as a playdate with your family—just one that happens to be documented. Dress comfortably. Don’t stress about shoes or hair or stains. Come prepared to move, laugh, and go with the flow. Your kids will mirror your attitude.
I encourage parents to let go of the little things. So what if your child has grass stains on their knees? So what if someone’s shirt got wrinkled on the ride over? None of that will matter when you see your child’s true spirit glowing in a photo that makes your heart ache in the best way.
And for those moments that feel like they’re falling apart—meltdowns, tantrums, resistance—I say this: don’t panic. Let them happen. I’ll work around them. I’ll give space when needed. I’ll document the recovery. Because life isn’t always tidy. And neither are the best memories.
Trusting the Process: The Unexpected Moments Are the Best Ones
One of the most beautiful aspects of documentary-style family photography is that it thrives on the unexpected. While it’s normal to want some predictability—especially when young children are involved—the truth is that the most meaningful images often come when the plan goes out the window.
You might have an idea in your head of what your photo session will look like. Maybe you’re picturing a sunset in a wide-open field, your children gently holding hands, everyone smiling and perfectly lit. That’s a lovely vision. And yes, sometimes moments like that do happen. But just as often, a child will refuse to cooperate. Someone will spill juice on their outfit. A sibling will declare war with a stick. These detours from the plan aren’t failures—they’re openings.
There’s a reason why seasoned photographers are always ready to shoot at any moment, even between "real" shots. Those spontaneous moments—when a child throws their head back in laughter, when a parent reaches out to fix a collar, when a toddler makes a break for the hills—are full of energy, life, and story. They reveal emotion that can’t be planned, only witnessed.
During one family session at a local park, a little girl took off her shoes and ran straight into a mud puddle. Her mother looked horrified. But instead of pulling her out, I gently encouraged them to join her. They hesitated, then stepped in. The result? A joyful, muddy, unforgettable series of photos that captured pure freedom and delight. That moment became the family’s favorite memory from the session, and they framed one of the mud puddle shots in their living room.
When parents trust the process and let go of the idea that everything has to go according to plan, they often end up with photos that exceed their expectations. Because real life is full of detours, and when you allow those detours to happen, you give your family space to make memories, not just take pictures.
How Misbehavior Becomes Memory
Let’s be clear: when I say I want your kids to misbehave, I don’t mean I want full-on chaos, danger, or disregard for safety. What I mean is that I welcome the kind of “misbehavior” that comes naturally to children—the wildness, the imagination, the fart jokes, the funny faces, the refusal to pose, the uncontainable energy. These are the moments we remember as parents. These are the stories we retell at family gatherings. These are the threads that bind the fabric of your family life.
Think about your favorite childhood photos. Are they the posed ones, perfectly framed and smiling? Or are they the ones where something silly was happening—where your personality came through, where you looked like you? For most of us, it’s the latter. Those photos feel alive. They remind us of who we were and how we felt.
Photography is about memory. But memory is messy. It’s full of contradictions—joy and frustration, stillness and movement, control and surrender. Letting your kids be themselves, even when that includes a bit of mischief, creates honest memories. And honest memories are the ones that last.
I once had a parent write to me months after a session, telling me how grateful they were that I didn’t try to “correct” their son when he spent half the session pretending to be a pirate. At the time, they were nervous that he wasn’t giving me what I needed. But when they saw the photos—him swashbuckling across a rocky path, brandishing a stick, and shouting “Aye!” with a huge grin—they cried. “That’s exactly who he was at that age,” they said. “And I never want to forget it.”
That’s the gift of allowing a little misbehavior. You’re not documenting perfection. You’re documenting personality. You’re saying, “This is who we are, and that’s enough.”
The Role of the Photographer: Guide, Not Director
Many parents assume that the photographer is there to direct every part of the session. And in some styles of photography, that’s true. But in the kind of work I do, the role is different. I’m not there to control. I’m there to guide, to support, and to capture what naturally unfolds.
Yes, I’ll give light direction. I’ll suggest a location, or recommend we walk to where the light is best. I’ll gently nudge moments into place if I sense something beautiful is about to happen. But I don’t treat sessions like productions. I treat them like experiences.
This means being adaptable. It means reading the energy of the room, or the field, or the beach, or the forest. It means knowing when to step in and when to step back. Sometimes it means photographing quietly from the side while a parent calms a child. Other times, it means leading a game or suggesting a race to help reset the energy. It’s not about staging—it’s about tuning in.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s about holding space. Space for messiness. Space for personality. Space for what’s real. The camera becomes a witness, not a judge. It doesn’t demand perfection. It receives whatever is offered and finds beauty in it.
When I work with families, my hope is always the same: that they leave feeling seen. The kids had fun. The parents felt supported. The photos reflect not some idealized version of their family, but the truth of who they are.
Because of that truth? It’s beautiful.
Conclusion:
So yes, I want your kids to misbehave during your family photo session.
I want them to jump in puddles, talk about farts, refuse to smile, giggle uncontrollably, make funny faces, run away from the camera, and laugh until their sides hurt. I want them to feel free enough to be themselves—wild, funny, serious, shy, bold, emotional, whatever it may be. Because when they are truly themselves, that’s when the best photos happen.
Your family is not a painting to be perfectly composed. It’s a living, breathing, moving organism full of personality and love and contradictions. A photo session with me isn’t about suppressing those contradictions—it’s about embracing them. It’s about letting go of the idea that your children have to perform, and instead allowing them to simply exist as they are.
In doing so, you create space for joy. For authenticity. For connection. For stories you’ll tell over and over again. For photos that don’t just show what you looked like, they show what you felt like. What this season of life looked like. What your child was like before they outgrew this version of themselves.
So come as you are. Let your kids come as they are. Don’t apologize for the noise, the silliness, the chaos. That’s not a problem to solve—it’s the magic to capture.